Two Limericks
Jilly Wherry
Said David, the kindest of males,
What’s wrong with my Mum? I hear wails.’
Through her doorway he burst,
expecting the worst
and found her distraught on the scales.
When Taylor sings ev’ry heart flickers.
She’s slender and never eats Snickers.
What I want to know
before you all go
Why does she perform in her knickers?
The Chef
Dianne Maidment
Dad’s been spruiking about his meals,
Bragging about Mum’s delightful squeals,
His skills have now been exposed,
A chef hiding in farmers clothes.
So how did he do it, I just had to know,
Late that night I peaked in the window,
I must admit, I was quite impressed,
Till I saw Dad engrossed in Master Chef,
Pad in hand, TV set on slow mode,
Watching intently last night’s episode,
Matt was baking a cherry cheesecake,
Lobster Thermidor, rib eye steak.
Flipping open the Samsung, he rang the Local,
As he read his menu he became quite vocal,
No, he didn’t want roast of the day,
Sorry, chef’s quit, gone home to Norway.
So now it’s down to a bowl of cornflakes,
Scrambled eggs, trading table cupcakes,
But best thing of all that makes him smile,
He knows how to use that darn new mobile.
The Touch
Anne Hanson
Standing in knee deep water
green and brown silks
anchored to the ocean floor
her slippery package
lustrous locks
whole flora flowing
in sound and rhythm
a bouquet of song
like a group of whirling dervishes
performing their ecstatic dance.
Silken folds lean
and sweep across my feet
skirting softness
welcoming wands
in luminous language
like the first caress of a new born
I am taken to a forgotten place
full again
the air is calm.