MILANG ENVIRONMENT CENTRE -corner of Weeroona Drive and Jupiter Street Milang.
Ph:85370201 Email: milangenvironmentalcentre@gmail.com
OPEN:10 AM – 4 PM WEDNESDAY & SATURDAY
CULT DEVELOPING AT MEC
Local recycling depot community service not-for-profit organisation the Milang Environment Centre (MEC) is trying to come to terms with a strange, cult-like development afflicting the volunteer team (aka ‘dinosaurs’). The focus of this unhealthy, odd obsession is the MEC crushing machine known as “The Depressor”.
CULT AT MEC: MCN was reliably informed that the MEC volunteers may have developed an unhealthy fixation with the robust, green German-built 1991 IDEAL-WERK 6006 crushing machine. A volunteer who prefers to remain anonymous told MCN: “At first there was friendly rivalry over who got to use the machine and push its buttons but gradually it has developed into a far more sinister competition for the machine’s affections. It is a serious issue.” The essential machine is used to crush aluminium cans and plastic bottles before storage. “I don’t know what it is about The Depressor that fascinates these people, but it is not at all healthy”, explained the unidentified volunteer.
MEC requires that all volunteers undergo an extensive in-house training program on how to safely operate ‘The Depressor’. Several of the volunteers repeated the intensive training program several times because they were a little slow on the uptake. It is now suspected these volunteers sought extended training hours because they desperately wanted to spend more time pushing the Ideal-Werk 6006 model operating buttons. Some volunteers have been arriving at MEC long before opening time to be first in line to use The Depressor.
CULT THEORIES: Various theories have been suggested to explain the development of The Depressor cult at MEC: it may be the curious sound made as recyclables are crushed, or the linguistic challenge presented by the complicated operating instructions, or it may simply be that MEC ‘dinosaurs’ enjoy pushing green and red buttons. Whatever the cause there is no doubt that a serious cult has developed. MEC management are seeking counselling services to address the problem among volunteers. “It may be necessary to arrange a time-share schedule so that every volunteer has a set specific time they have exclusive control of The Depressor”, said MEC Boss Dinosaur Don Boyce as he reached for another very large slice of cake baked by Lyla.
MEC NEEDS MORE VOLUNTEERS
Anyone interested in being a MEC volunteer, actively learning about recycling, contributing to environmental protection, operating machinery, driving tractors, trucks, or forklifts, enjoying delicious cakes, long tea breaks, meeting residents from across the region, please contact MEC by phone or email or call in personally 10 am – 4 pm Wednesday or Saturday.